Needless to say and without naming every job I have ever had, and there are many, I kept noticing a pattern. I would start a job and within six months or less, I would always realize, this is not where I want to be, not what I want to be doing or who I want to be spending my precious time with. I was never satisfied no matter where I worked. I had a hard time dealing with authority. I am a natural leader and a dominate, organized, take-charge kind of girl and I realized time and time again that I was extremely unsatisfied with every job I had. I got in trouble often for not following the dress code, not wanting to take my tiny little nose stud out and questioning or arguing with authority when I felt something was wrong or if I felt under appreciated or overworked. I always felt like I needed to be somewhere else than where I was. I knew that this can't be it. This is not what my life is supposed to be like. I always came to the table with great ideas that were shot down. A lot of jobs that I had I was over worked and under paid. I was taken advantage of. Some jobs sexually harassed. Some jobs verbally abused by my boss. I may have had a lot of jobs for my young age but I can say one thing for myself, I always took up for myself and spoke my mind. Employers hate employees like me. They don't like being questioned or challenged. Employers want you to come to work and just put up with whatever they throw your way and of course, keep your mouth shut. I just couldn't do that. That is not who I am.
So I began to see that I was simply not going to change and not because I don't believe in change, because I certainly do, but because I felt like this lifestyle was not right for me. People around me would say, "deal with it" or "that's life" and my response was always "maybe for you but not for me." Society has ingrained in us that we are to be slaves to a job and we are not to question it. Society has everybody thinking that this is how we have to live and that there is no other way. I called Bullshit on that whole thing. I knew there had to be another way. I was tired of feeling bad when I or my child was sick and I needed to take a day but was made to feel bad about it. I used to feel sick the night before I went to bed because I knew I had to go spend 40+ hours a week at a job that I hated, with people that were cruel, judgmental and could care less about me, for a measly amount of money per hour. I always seemed to have those jobs were I did everything for the boss. I answered phones, scheduled their meetings, organized their files, wrote their correspondents and letters, did their research and much much more. I could literally do their jobs for them. Yet, they made the big bucks. They got to come and go as they pleased. They got to take 2 hour lunches while I stayed behind to answer phones. I often thought, "why am I doing all the work so I can make this person richer?" I know that company owners all have secretaries and assistants to help them be more successful at their jobs and that is great. But I realized that I wanted to be the boss. I could do it. I did do it.
The older I got, the bolder I got. The more I learned at these jobs, the more confident I was that I could do it on my own. The older I got, the less crap I would take from an employer. The last "job" I held was an office manager for a furniture company. I was real ballsy at this point in my life. The manager who had no kids and had no life outside of work (also a sexual harasser) would leave the doors unlocked after we were supposed to be close at 7pm in the evening and would expect me to stay late to check any left over customers out. Financing people for furniture and doing all the paperwork and scheduling deliveries is a lengthy process. How was it fair that I stayed an hour or two later to check out his customers, of which he could make hundreds of dollars off commission, just so I could make less than 30 dollars for my two hours? I knew why he wanted me to stay late but I wasn't going to. $30 wasn't worth my time when I had a small child to get home to. I started telling him NO. I am not staying late, but I will train you to check out your own customers or I will do it first thing in the morning. Needless to say, he did not like that. The more I stood up for myself, the crappier he treated me and the harder he made my job. I knew at this point, I could no longer do this. I was fed up and knew from experience that it would be this way no matter where I worked. No one should have to be harassed or abused at a job. It is just a job. Something that means absolutely nothing to me except a small paycheck. Maybe the rest of the world was okay living this way but I was not. I knew I was worth more and deserved more.
I knew I had to make a change and I prayed about it heavy, hard and consistently for over a month. I didn't want to find another "JOB". I didn't want to work for someone else for their pay and their hours ever ever again. I talked it over with my boyfriend who was deployed at the time and he agreed I should quit. I felt a complete peace come over me and I knew what I had to do. During my prayers, I felt like God was telling me to have faith in him. Of course, faith. God does say in the bible not to worry about tomorrow. He says I will provide for you today, so why worry about tomorrow. You can call it whatever you want, the universe, God or whatever but it is all in the same to me. I trusted and had faith that God would provide a way for me if I just followed my heart and stayed true to myself. So I did it. I quit my job. I should have been scared but I wasn't. I actually felt this release or this weight lifted off of me for the first time in years. I felt free. I didn't know what I was going to do but it didn't matter. I just trusted in God and that he would provide and I jumped.
Two years later, I am still surviving and I have started my own business. I have grown so much. I have spent a lot of time alone, reading, learning, growing closer to God and growing as a person in general. I have learned a lot about myself and what I am truly capable of. I may not make a lot of money but that is okay. Money had never been my motivation or what I was after in the first place. I wanted my time back. My time is worth so much more to me than money. I wanted my freedom. So it only seemed appropriate that I Started a company called The Freedom Co. I wasn't sure what my company would necessarily be about or what I would do, offer or make, but I knew what I wanted the foundation to be built on. Freedom. I continued to pray and ask God for guidance and ask him what he wanted me to do. I prayed and asked God what his will for me was. I believe that it isn't about what I want but what God wants. I thought I wanted a lot of things in my life, only to find out I was wrong. But when I let God be in control of my life and when I tried to fulfill God's will for me, everything worked out so much better. God knows my heart better then I do and he knows what I need better than I do. God always provided for me in some way or another. I never knew how I was going to pay my bills, but they always got paid. It was my faith that kept me going and trusting that today I had everything I needed and I did not worry about the next day. I know releasing control is hard for some people and especially for me. I am a control freak and I honestly don't allow anyone to have control in my life. But God, God is the one being that I have no problem completely giving control to. He has never let me down and I can't imagine trying to do it all on my own. I lay it all at His feet.
After about a year of tinkering with different ideas and trying different things and doing odd jobs here and there to support myself, it finally came to me. I wanted to make natural beauty products. Products that were "FREE" of harsh chemicals and unnatural ingredients. See how this is all coming together. Why not? I had a background in baking and natural skincare. I also realized that all these jobs and hobbies that I had done were actually for a reason. I knew how to bake and make recipes. It came natural to me. I knew a lot about skincare and natural products from working at the day spa and my training at Aveda. I knew a lot about how to run a company and all that it Intel's, from all the office jobs I ever had. I finally realized that everything happens for a reason and nothing is a mistake. I was grooming myself to own my own company all of these years and never realized it until now. Everything that I had ever learned from all the jobs I ever held were only setting me up to be successful at running my own business. I always knew I wanted my own business and I have started several different businesses on the side, aside from my regular job. But none of them ever worked out and I was never truly in charge. I make my own products now. I make an amazing lip balm. I was surprised at how good it actually came out. It is the best lip balm that I have ever used and not just because I make it, but because it really is. If it wasn't great, I would have kept trying until I got it right. I felt divinely inspired to do what I am doing now. I do it all on my own. My business is still small, but that is okay. I am growing and I will keep trying and won't quit.
My goal is not to make a lot of money and be filthy rich. All I want is my freedom and when I say that I mean, I want my time. I want to know that If my babies are sick that I don't have to ask permission to stay at home and take care of them. If I need to get personal stuff done, I can take the day. If someone needs me, I have the time to help. If I want to go on a vacation, I don't have to get approval. I could go on and on about what freedom really means to me but I think you get it. The Freedom co isn't just about making all natural, chemical free products but it is about any kind of freedom for myself. It is a way for me to do something that I am good at and feel good about myself for doing it. It is a way for me to give back and If my business gets really big one day then I plan to do more and maybe offer people the same opportunity to have a little more freedom in their lives. I plan to do good things with my business. I know people say that all the time but I really do.
I you take away anything from reading this, I hope it is that you know that you are worth more. Have faith in yourself and most importantly have faith that God wants more for you. God wants you to be happy and do what makes you happy. Have faith. never quit. Trust that as long as you are provided for today, then there is no need to worry about tomorrow. Believe in yourself and let God move you. Let God guide you and allow him to work in your life. I think God just wants to know that I trust him and If I ever waver in my trust, It shows in my life. I know that it is easier said than done, but for me it wasn't a choice. It is what I had to do and now I know it is the right way for me and the only way for me. Jump. Take a leap of faith and see what happens. No matter what, it will be okay and the world will not come to an end. You might just find out you are made of a lot more than you give yourself credit for.
If you are interested in trying out my lip balm and/or learning more about the product you can check out my Lip Balm Page on my blog and it also has a link to my Etsy shop where you can purchase your own. It really is theBalm. Blessing to you all and good luck in your endeavors.
Very inspiring and so very true
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